As a Divorce Attorney, I Often See Parents Push Their Children to Pick a Side. Here’s Why You Should Never Do It.

A healthy parent-child relationship is one of the most anchoring, life-shaping bonds a person can experience in their lifetime. Growing up in a stable environment marked by love, consistency, and emotional support creates a sense of safety for children, and becomes their internal compass — when parents are together and function as a unit, their children feel consistency, security, and certainty.

But things can turn on their head when the parents divorce.

As a divorce attorney, I frequently see loyalty conflicts arise when one parent pushes a child to take their side in divorce proceedings. Anyone with children should take heed that this is one of the most damaging things to do to your offspring. It can cause them to become more fragile, angry, and withdrawn. The child may begin to adopt the parent’s narrative, echoing the adult’s fears, grievances, and even language to the point that they no longer want to see the other parent.

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"As a Divorce Attorney, I Often See Parents Push Their Children to Pick a Side. Here’s Why You Should Never Do It," by Marilyn B. Chinitz was published in SheKnows on February 9, 2026.